Colts Finally Draft Tonight

I already wrote a blog earlier this week about the Colts' needs and who they might possibly draft. I originally wrote that I'd like either Gabe Jackson or Marcus Martin, but I read a little this morning and I think Weston Richburg might be the better pick. Guy can play both C and G so I really love the versatility. The fact he played at a small time school scares me a bit so I wouldn't be too mad with the other two guys. Technically he looks sound though.

In case a big time receiver falls, I'd love that pick. I don't think it'll happen, but a guy can hope. Look for a later round receiver.

As I said earlier, a trade by Grigson would not surprise me at all. Look out for some wheeling and dealing tonight from our used car salesman GM.

Pacers/ Wizards Preview

8 pm tonight. Huge game. We win, we take control of the series or we lose and we're back behind the 8 ball. It's going to be tough to go into DC and come out with a W, but I think the first game is more ripe for a win. The Wizards are on their heels, it's time to take advantage. 

Keys to Victory

Paul George HAS to play well. It's an absolute must that he doesn't put up a stinker like he did in game 2. I really don't care if he puts up the points that we're used to, but I want to see him driving to the basket and drawing fouls or dishing. 

David West has to play better on both ends of the floor. A lot of his offensive problems come from his shots not falling. Everyone knows that the determination of a good or bad game for DWest comes from whether he hits that jumper from 18 foot out, but I'm already tired of watching Gortat dominate him. A little of the trademark DWest toughness would go a long way. 

Why does everyone hate Johnny Manziel?

So as I was watching the draft last night, I couldn't help notice everyone on Twitter and both networks bashing Johnny Manziel, the exception being Mike Mayock, who had his lips firmly attached to JFF's hog. But I don't get it, what's there to hate?  The Browns only got a the most electrifying college athlete since Charles Woodson. Yeah his footwork and mechanics need some work, but I've never seen so many people already ready to call a guy a bust when he hasn't even gotten a chance to ball out. If there's going to be a team win the Super Bowl, I want it to be a Johnny Football led Browns team.

All Hail the Prince of Cleveland!

PS- Johnny, if you somehow read this, check out Christie's Cabaret in Cleveland. My friend said it's the best strip club in the midwest.

NFL Draft First Round

Hey at least we can't draft Tony Ugoh again.

No pick for the Colts in the first, but I'll still be watching. Here are the things I'm looking forward to the most.

1. Johnny Football- In talking to my friends today, I realized that I'm probably the only person in the world who likes Johnny Football. Will he be a huge bust? Probably, but if he turns out I want to be the guy who brags that I knew all along he was going to be a stud. Questions of where he gets drafted are wide ranging. I've heard everything from #1 to #16 for the Cowboys. He won't fall past the Cowboys because Jerry Jones is the only person harder than me for JFF in the NFL. 

2. The Browns- Can you imagine how incredible it would be if the Browns draft Johnny Football and he leads them to a Super Bowl? Chills. It probably won't happen, but a guy can hope. A lot of my friends are Browns fans and I always enjoy watching the Browns picks, keeping track of them, and then watching them flame out. Wait Trent Richardson was a Browns pick? Fuck, nevermind about that flaming out part. 

3. Trades/ Adam Scheffter-

I actually respect Adam Schefter and he's actually pretty good at his job. That would be the end of my discussion of Schefter if I didn't have to see his smug fucking face and his whole schtick with the two cell phones. The tweet above perfectly sums up Schefter's arrogance. I hate that fucking midget, but trades are exciting and the tension between him and Mort is fantastic. 

4. Michael Sam- I love the gays, I've been a big supporter for a long time now and I'm truly happy to see a gay player finally in the NFL. And regardless of his sexual orientation, he seems like a good kid in every interview I've seen. He won't go round one, but I'm interested in how long the NFL can justify not drafting the SEC Defensive Player of the Year.  And don't kid yourself, his fall is 95% because he's gay and the NFL is still fairly bigoted. Notice how the knocks on his skills didn't come until after he came out.  I sincerely hope he has a monster NFL career. 

Minor League Baseball Logo  Showdown

I love minor league baseball, almost more than major league. I love the hijinks, the gimicks, the cheap beer and hotdogs. I love it all. But perhaps my favorite thing about minor league baseball is the whacky team names/ logos they come up with. The majors are too tied to traditional logos, minor league owners are like fuck it, more colors! So today I'm going to start a showdown of the best, if you think your local team does something cool I don't know about, send it my way.

Challenger 1: Modesto Nuts

I like the idea, but these guys look more like the type of guys that hang out underneath the bleachers and take upskirt pics rather than win on the field. A for creativity, C for execution of the facial expressions. 5.2/10

Challenger 2: Midland Rockhounds

Stop the fight! This logo invokes three awesome things: dogs, baseball, and the working stiffs out there on the oil rigs. I don't get the dog's sundial watch, but that's doesn't hurt the score. 8.9/10

PS- When I was researching this, I found this logo for the Asheville Tourists. I was took one look and said, oooh that's the one to beat all others.

Then I find out those fuckers changed it. Wtf Ashevile? Nothing is funnier than fat dudes wearing Hawaiian shirts (I hope to be one one day) and then you incorporate a bear playing baseball? Genius. No explanation for why they got rid of this, just flat out dumb.

The new host of Who Wants to be a Millionaire is.... Cheeseburger Eddie?

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Puzzling move here ABC, real puzzling. I think most people were thinking they'd probably go with a respected intellectual type, like Trebek or Meredith Viera, but nope, ABC is getting wacky.  800% guaranteed he wears fake glasses. Although honestly I don't know who I'm kidding, I'll probably watch just to see Terry struggle through talking about science and other complex intellectual topics. Not saying the guy is dumb, but he doesn't strike me as the type that sits at home learning. I just hope this gig doesn't get in the way of filming The Expendables 7.

PS- When did Cedric the Entertainer host Who Wants to be a Millionaire? I honestly thought he died like 4 years ago.

Is Hibbert back?

I have no idea why, but this made me laugh.

So another nailbitter last night and I am now ready to admit that the Wizards are much better than I thought they were. This is going to be a tough series. I still say Pacers in 6, but it's not going to be easy. Our two best players in West and PG have to play better, but there's no way they have two repeat performances like last night.

Last night also begs the question, has Roy Hibbert resurrected himself? There were people in the media saying that Roy's career was over and while I wouldn't have gone that far, I was starting to think he needed to go. And then that motherfucker goes fishing with the guy who's supposedly deep-dicking his wife and BAM! back to an All-Star. Maybe I should go fishing? Then Kate Upton will finally let me TF her (first awesome thing that came to mind). 

I don't want to get too excited because it's only one game, but Roy put in a really strong showing against two of the better bigs in the East. I'm hoping he keeps this hot streak going. 

Colts Draft Preview

As everyone knows, the first round of the draft is tomorrow night. Also in news to no one, the Colts do not have a first round pick. I'm actually not going to criticize Grigson for the T-Rich trade, I thought it was an awesome deal at the time and I'm holding out hope that Trent plays like the top-5 pick he was. I think that he will be a much better player with a healthier and better O-line and more familiarity with the playbook.

As far as the draft goes, there has been a lot of rumblings about the Colts trading up to get into the first round. I just don't see it happening with the value of draft picks and the fact that Kevin Costner isn't our GM. This year's draft seems to be much deeper than years past so I don't think that a trade would pay huge dividends. I tried to keep in mind schools/ types of programs the Colts typically go for in my possible picks. As far as needs goes:

Receivers:
I don't want to admit it, but Reggie's getting older and TY is better suited to playing the homerun threat. Hakeem Nicks is a nice pickup, but even if he plays well, he's a one year rental. According to all the experts receiver is a strong point of this draft and I look for the Colts to target a big receiver with their first pick. Sammy Watkins and Mike Evans will be long gone by our pick and I don't see Latimer from IU falling far enough. Possible picks: Donte Moncrief from Ole Miss, Davante Adams from Fresno State.

O-Line:
As of right now, the starting lineup is fairly set, but Phil Costa's retirement kinda set the team back. There will inevitably be an early season injury to one of the starters so look for the Colts to continue their trend of spending at least two picks on O-line depth. I'd like to see an intelligent center or a guard with a mean streak here.  Possible picks: Gabe Jackson from Mississippi St. or Marcus Martin from USC.

Safety:
Some would say this is the biggest need in the draft, but Grigson and Pagano have been pretty focused on getting Luck weapons so I don't see them targeting a safety until round 3 or 4. Bethea was a huge loss and one of my favorite Colts ever, but the team really couldn't afford to keep him. Possible picks: If they go for a safety in round 2: Deone Bucannon from Wash. St. or Jimmie Ward from Northern Illinois. If it's a later pick: Craig Loston from LSU or Brock Vereen from Minnesota.

Bold Prediction:
Grigson pulls off a trade, but not one in the first round. Like I said, there's a ton of value in the 2nd through 4th rounds. I look for Grigson to try to double up in 2nd or 3rd round picks or trade up within those rounds.

Who came up with the idea to make Spring Breakers 2? 

I don't know if it's cool to admit or not, but I saw Spring Breakers. I was expecting an awesome movie with badass sexy girls in swimsuits robbing drug dealers. What I got was a Skrillex music video mixed with Vanessa Hudgens praying with some odd cuddling and uncomfortable sex scenes. No exaggeration, worst movie I've ever seen.

It only made $14 mil? What in the fuck? I thought for sure I'd see over $100 mil and that would somehow justify a sequel.

PS- With the amount of nudity in that movie, 14 year old me would kick my ass for saying this movie sucked.

Breaking: Andy Bynum Will Not be with the Team the Rest of the Way

Well I think this kinda establishes what the problem with the Pacers is. From a basketball standpoint, it really doesn't affect the team too much. Bynum played 2 games, made $500,000 for each, and really didn't contribute. While I respect the Mailtime attitude (thanks @KFCBarstool), I think this shows that the problems with the team stem from Bynum's presence. There's really no reason to say a guy's not traveling with the team other than the fact that he's a fucking cancer and his removal was the only way to fix it. Now I don't know exactly what happened, but management obviously stepped in and said you need to get the fuck away from our team. Good Riddance.

Reason #1 Why I Love Summer: Jean Shorts

With today being the first 80 degree day, I thought I would share the best thing about Summer: jean shorts. On girls- super sexy, just a girl you know is about to ruin some dicks. On guys- hilarious.

Indy Submits Bid for Super Bowl

I don't know how blog worthy this is, but Indianapolis sent these boxes out as part of its bid for Super Bowl LII, including a tablet inside with the presentation in case any of these millionaires don't have one. I'd love to see another Super Bowl in town and I think with the success of the last time we hosted, we've got a good shot. And with Big Jimmy coming out of rehab to give a presentation I don't want to say it's a lock, but it's a lock.

No Way do I believe that Paul George is Stuffing Roy Hibbert's Wife

You see that picture? Guys don't go fishing with each other when they one guy's fucking the other's wife. Good enough for me Paul, I believe you. Another reason I believe him is have you seen Roy's wife?

Not saying that she's not a sweet girl or anything, but PG could do a lot better. Hell if she is fucking around maybe Roy could count himself lucky that he just got a get out jail with less than half your shit card.

8th Graders Busted for Selling Drugs at Franklin Middle School

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Selling Xanax? Is that what kids are doing now? I thought 8th graders just stole Mike's Hard Lemonades from their mom and maybe smoked a bit of weed. And I'm glad it backfired on these little shits. Not only did they get in trouble, but it looks like they only had 5 customers so I doubt this mini-cartel was making money.

Kids stay away from drugs.

WorldStar Presents Dumbest Tweets of April

Terrific. And I feel much better about me now.

Roy Hibbert Xbox Controller is Pretty Accurate

This is making the rounds today and I must admit that it's pretty accurate. Although I would sub out the disabled block shot and disabled rebound button for sulk and commit dumb foul. There's a whole lot of that coming from #55 lately.

Seriously Roy, get it together please.

Science: Sharing an Unbroken Gaze with Someone for 2 Minutes will result in feelings of Passion

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Has there ever been a more self-serving research project ever? These nerds just convincing themselves if they stare at a girl long enough, she'll have sex with them. I will admit that girls thoroughly enjoy an uncomfortable amount of eye contact. What you want to do is have some danger in your eyes though. They need to know you're not entirely safe, it turns them on. That's what science doesn't get, danger is the most powerful aphrodisiac.

PS- Did I just make everyone fall for Nic Cage? If you're a girl and you see this face from Nic good luck getting away with your underpants. It's too sexual to resist.

Coach Dunn to Retire at Season's End

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Jeter, Mariano Rivera, now Coach Lin Dunn: famous farewell tours. Coach Dunn won a championship in 2012 and is finally calling it quits after this season. With a loaded roster and two first round picks in the fold, the Fever looks poised to send her out on a high note.

Although this line, The coach says it's time for a new challenge as she focuses on consulting and advising, is pretty confusing to me. What does a women's basketball consultant do? Whatever, I'm sure she'll be great then, but we got a championship to win this year.

A Crew of Four Dead Guys for a Weekend Bender. Who ya Got?

So I was talking with a friend last night and the topic came up if you could go on a weekend bender with any four guys from history, who would you take? Well my first three were pretty easy, but I struggled with the fourth. I went all Americans, because I'd actually like to be able to talk to my crew, but anyone is available as long as they're dead.

The Captain

Sinatra obviously. Legendary boozer, legendary womanizer, legendary man. He led the Rat Pack, pretty sure he could lead my crew into good times. Plus he can sing so we'd have that to cook up some humid underwear.

The Hot Dude 

 Paul Walker. Another easy choice. You think that women aren't going to be drawn in by this sexy dude? Yeah right. Plus he was Lance Harbor, greatest quarterback that West Texas had ever seen until he blew his knee.

The Muscle

Macho Man. The last of the three easy choices for me. Your crew is going to need someone to whip some ass if trouble abounds, that's where Macho Man comes in. Truth be told, I took Macho's death a little bit harder than I took my great-grandfather's.

The Joker

Phil Hartman. This was the toughest decision in the entire crew. I had to go past the obvious Chris Farley and Belushi, because they'd be doing Coke or drugs in a bathroom and if you've ever been around someone doing drugs while you're not, you know how much it sucks. I went with Hartman because he was probably a guy who wasn't too annoying and actually funny in real life. His wife can NOT come.

This is Exactly why I don't Train with Bungee Cords

This is 100%* why I pass on every workout involving bungee cords. You always get snapped or pinched or injured in some way. Between that and the fact that I am as in shape as an obese 50 year old woman, I say no to bungee cords in my workouts.

Also I love the dad's reaction. He thought about apologizing for a second, but then just thought fuck it, that was funny, and I definitely meant to do that.

*20% fear of getting snapped + 80% don't want to exercise= 100%

Popeye Jones... Greek Adonis

So I've been meaning to write this for awhile, but I watch every pregame simply to see Popeye in the background warming up one of the bigs.  It just cracks me up to watch that human Shrek moving around the court with the agility of a cat. But the guy obviously just said fuck off to the gym when he retired and I couldn't be more of a fan. He just owns the beer gut look and I love it.

PS- People know that Popeye's son got drafted #4 overall in last year's NHL draft right. That's pretty cool, but I'm sure Popeye's son is more thankful he didn't get his dad's looks.

Well that Sucked

What an absolutely disgusting game, but there are a few silver linings. Every starter played like shit, but Hibbert absolutely sucks. I've tried standing up for him as long as I could, but for fucks sake, get it together. When Ian fucking Mahimi is a better option than you, it's time to call it a day.

Bright Spots:
- If we played as bad as we did last night against other teams, we would have lost by 30. The team went on a few runs and made it close for a bit. The Wizards played their best, we played our worst. I take that as a good omen for the rest of the series.

-  The foul disparity can not be that wide again. A series with ticky tack fouls does not favor the Pacers, but the Refs were inconsistently bad. I know the numbers show that it was fairly even, but it seemed like the Pacers were called for an over the back on every missed shot. That absolutely showed up in the rebound and points in the paint differentials.

Something else I noticed is that Frank Vogel has suddenly become the worst coach in the playoffs. Seriously. He got outcoached by the drunk driver from Atlanta, he's got outcoached last night. Can anyone honestly say that Vogel is better than Scott Brooks, Doc Rivers, Pop, or Spoelstra? I had to look up who Portland's coach was, but I'm pretty sure he's better. Jason Kidd and Vogel, two worst coaches remaining.

Pacers/ Wizards Series Preview

Round 2. There were times I didn't think we'd be here, but I like to look on the bright side. We're here now and I thought the team showed a lot of resiliency and toughness battling back an Atlanta team that was much better than their record indicated. Truth be told, I didn't watch a whole lot of the Wizards this year, but I expect to struggle against John Wall. I gotta believe that Roy is going to have a big series and is highly motivated to get back to bangin down low. The Hibbert v. Gortat/Nene is going to be highly intriguing. PG is going to have a good series and I expect him to shut down Beal (assuming he is matched up right).

Prediction:  Pacers in 5. It's become trendy to say the Wizards are going to win the series, but the Pacers are playing better and that has to worry a lot of teams. The foundation has been laid, now I just look for the team to build upon that and start rolling.

As always, live tweeting @IndySportsJoe

Shaun King says Johnny Manziel will be a Bust. Who?

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Shaun, I get it. I really do. Not a lot of attention being paid to you and you don't know what to do. Then you think how do I get people googling my name? I know, I'll take a shot at the biggest celebrity/gunslinger/playboy in this weekend's draft. Johnny's ready to take on NFL Defenses and NFL cleat chasers. And how about Shaun fucking King taking technical shots about Manziel, "He's got terrible footwork, maybe the worst of any quarterback in this class. He doesn't throw on balance, doesn't throw on rhythm." Oh really Shaun? You ever do this?

Johnny is 100% going top-10 and getting PAID. Shaun, you mad bro?

China Hiring "Sexual Content Appraisers" to Clean Internet

Too many tentacles or not enough?

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I think Officer Liu Chunqi tells the full story here: "Some people think it's just watching porn, but it's not. Sometimes it makes me throw up." We read the headline and every guy says oh wow I'd love to do that, but we're thinking of our porn. You know, wholesome stuff like Lisa Ann being sodomized as a school principal or Cythera being a god damn lawn sprinkler all over the set. But this is Asian porn... totally different ballgame. I think you'd have to walk into work each day knowing that at least one of the parties in the fuck film you're about to watch won't be completely human. I don't know that I'd be as soft as Liu, but I definitely think it would throw some cold water on my desire to log on to Xvideos when I get home. 

Indiana Ice Taking Year Off After Championship

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Well that kinda takes the excitement out of all the Championship buzz. One minute you're riding high, living the dream of an USHL Championship, the next you're out of the league because you're homeless. Sucks.

Because I'm an idea guy, I'm gonna toss out a few game changing ideas to bring the Ice back. The logo is too good to go away.

1. Flood Klipsch.

I don't think Klipsch is used for anything during the winter. All you need to do is get some boards and a water hose. Flood it and build a rink right in there. A whole season of winter classic games. In your face NHL.

2. Hoosier Park or Indiana Grand

Sports and gambling go together like strippers and cocaine: they're both a blast! Can you imagine how much fun you'd have if you could go watch some puck, have some beers, and play some blackjack all in the same building and it's not your buddy's house where you have to be quiet because the baby's sleeping? I like this idea a lot.

Study: 93% of Straight British Men have Cuddled with another guy

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Look I couldn't care less what two people do in their bed, but this article is borderline irresponsible.  I love the gays, always have, but if let's be honest here: If I'm laying against you and you can feel my dick against you in any way and you don't move away, you're gay bro. Nothing wrong with it at all, but you're probably not completely straight if you can engage in man on man cuddling. The topic of the article should be: Britain has a lot more gay dudes than previously thought. And using James Franco as the picture? Yeah probably not the best idea to use a guy who just was caught sexting an underage girl as the picture for normal sexual behavior. 

Also, it wouldn't be England if they didn't try to imply they're better than the US somehow. I love this quote: 

"British men are more advanced than American men in doing this, but these behaviors are still occurring, and we predict that increasing numbers of American men will engage in them as they realize the benefits of doing so."

Ooooooh so sorry Britain, our limited American brains aren't advanced enough to comprehend the benefits of cuddling up with another dude. What are these benefits? If you ask me, I'm not trying to cuddle up with anyone. Just leave me the fuck alone and let me take a nap, I don't need to be playing sleep Twister.

Evansville Man Tells Police He has the Right to Kill His Dog

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Ugh, no you don't asshole. What a vile human! The nerve to have a golf club in your hand and tell the cops they aren't taking your dog that you're about to kill over your dead body. I would have applauded if the cops were just like ok boss and shot him right in the fucking chest.

I have no clue why this Affleck Counting Cards thing became a story

First of all, Ben (I can call him Ben because he's in my imaginary crew) has gotta fire his personal assistant after this.  As a personal assistant isn't it your job to either take the fall or get him out of there before he gets busted? Like I imagine that's covered in personal assistant orientation. Maybe his publicist too depending on whether AJ Frost is going for the bad boy angle.

And what the fuck Vegas? You're basically violating the only thing you stand for here. Remember the whole "what happens here stays here" thing?  Yeah if Ben wants to go on a bender and count a few cards a bit, you fucking let him. Remember when he saved the earth from a world ending asteroid? I'd say he's earned a bit of leeway.

PS- Hating on Affleck is so fashionable it's annoying. The guy made like 3 bad movies and all of a sudden that erases Armageddon, Reindeer Games (Charlize Theron titty city), and The Town? Grow up.

Pacers First Round Recap

Thank Jeebus that that series is over. The Hawks were the worst first round opponent that the Pacers could have drawn and it was apparent throughout the series. Hopefully game 6 and 7 are indicators that the team is turning around and maybe we've still got a shot. 

Biggest takeaway from Saturday's game is that Hibbert looked like he's coming out of his hibbertnation (see what I did there? Dad joke city) and playing like the all-star center he was at the beginning of the season. Is he completely back? No. Do I trust him yet?  Not by a long shot, but I'll take whatever ray of light I can get from Roy.

Pacers/ Wizards blog later today. 

Pacers/ Hawks Game 7 Preview

Ok, game 7 time. I think every Pacers fan knew this series was going 7 after game 3, but here we are. I expect Bankers Life to be rockin and the Pacers to play physical.

Keys to the Game:
- Lance Stephenson playing within himself. I love Lance, if he plays in a mature and contained style we're going to win. Lance is Ron Artest with a bit more sanity. We need him to play 46 min solid and 2 minutes insane. If Lance can pick the right time to get excited he ignites the whole team. If it's out of control and he forces it too much, he derails the offensive flow. And stop dribbling without going anywhere for fucks sake.

- Defense. In game 6 the Pacers went on a run in the third that I thought was the turning point of the whole game. During that run, the Pacers buckled down and played their physical and gritty style. We need to muscle up on ATL and physically impose our will.

Prediction
Pacers feed off the crowd and close out Atlanta. Hibbert doesn't have a big game, but he makes an impact. Paul George double-double. 2 of those 3 things will happen, I'm not holding my breath for Roy.

I'll be live tweeting/ drinking @IndySportsJoe during the game.

No Suspension for Paul George

Pretty much what I said. No way the NBA was going to suspend a star like Paul George when last night's Pacers/Hawks game got ratings like it did.

Also I love this quote by PG, "They're in trouble, because I'm going to have a lot of energy." Here's hoping that's true.

Muncie Man Found with Saint's Bones

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I'm so confused by this story. First off, is the Church actively keeping bone fragments of saints that died 500 years ago? And then they put said bones in this medallion? Who came up with that idea? Like hey saint, when you die, we're going to take a small piece of your bones and put them on a chain. That's real hood of the church, honoring their dead homies like that.

Also Larry stealing the bones from the patron saint of impossible causes is the definition of irony. What's the endgame here Larry? I mean I can't possibly see much street value on this piece, but maybe that's why I'm not in the heist game.

PS- Major props to Larry for saying, "I have problems, I'm dangerous, and I'm going to hurt someone!" I think Jesus would commend him for that whole know thyself thing.

This MJ Gif is Spectacular

I have watched this gif no less than 80 times. I'm not a Bulls fan by any means and those 90s Reggie Miller/ MJ battles were as intense for me as the Knicks/Pacers rivals, but this gif right here is why MJ is and always will be the best. I wish the NBA would go back to this era with hard falls, short shorts, and tons of shit talking.

PS- Imagine if he was talking to LeBron in this. Piss all down Bron's leg, he probably doesn't even come back from something like that.

Colleges Asking Grads to Refrain from Taking Selfies

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Thank God! I can't be alone in saying thank you to the brave college administrators willing to take on the biggest problem infecting their proud institutions: Selfies! Nevermind that colleges are handing out worthless pieces of paper and not providing any help for kids finding jobs, we gotta stop these fucking selfies. Forget about the mountains of debt that you're burying your grads under, if they pull a Samsung, we better fucking end that kid. 

Honestly is there anything more overdone than graduations? My mom made me go to all of mine, all of them were the most boring/pompous/ worst hours of my life while I was waiting to get shitfaced with my friends. If someone wants to pull their phone and take a pic to spice things up, let them.

PS- Not even going to dive into the "ethnic" families at graduations. The time's not right, thanks a lot Donald Sterling. 

Nerd Boner of the Day: Frank Underwood/ Call of Duty Trailer

So Kevin Spacey is going to be in the new Call of Duty Game. No word if it's going to be the actual Frank Underwood character or not, but it is. I'm a huge House of Cards fan and I enjoy Call of Duty when I'm not being told by 13 year olds what deplorable sex acts my mother does. This game is going to be all kinds of awesome, if EA wants to send me a free copy I guess that would be ok.

This concludes the nerdiest post of the week.

Donald Sterling has Cancer

Ol Donnie taking a page out of the Joe Paterno playbook. Scandal hits, get cancer and die. Bold strategy, let's see how it plays out. I think we can all agree that if there is such a place, Don's going to Hell. We can only hope that it's black demons poking him down there. That image is terrific.