Roy Hibbert's Area 55 tryouts were exactly what you'd expect
















I don't know what it is about me, but I've never got hardcore fanatics like these people. Wear a jersey, go to games, know about the team? Sure those things are great. But why in the fuck would I paint my whole body blue or dress in a costume that takes me and my wife (who is no doubt considering leaving me) two hours to put on? Like what's your endgame here? Do these guys think Roy Hibbert is going to want to hang out with them afterwards? Fat fucking chance there.

And look at Roy's face.




















Has there ever been a clearer expression of these people are fucking insane, but just smile and clap Roy... smile and clap and you can get back to posting vine videos of yourself working out.

Indy's premier mead makers?

I thought mead was for vikings or at least badasses with beards, not a gender-neutral couple who enjoys gardening and "ethnic joints".

This is how you fucking drink mead. Pound the mead, command your wench to get you another, and smash the shit out of your mug.

Is the term "ethnic joints" racist?

Shelbyville Father and Son arrested after fight on golf course

IndyStar Article

If there's anything I hate while enjoying a nice day at the golf course, it's my dad fucking it up by trying to fight me or talk to me. Hey Dad, I'm trying to stick this bitch on the green and make par, I don't want to hear about you bangin Mom or your work or whatever you talk about while I pretend to listen. If it comes out that this dad was talking during Danny's backswing, put him the fuck away. Only assholes do that.

Having said that, this kid was kind of begging for a fight. Wearing a wife beater on the golf course? That just screams drinking Pabst and fist fighting.

Colts Recap

Watched the game last night for about an hour and a half before I realized Summer Slam was on and the starters were out so it wasn't worth watching anymore. Here are my observations:

Positives:

• I expect TY to bust out this season. Sure we signed DHB, but he's never been healthy his entire career and TY does everything DHB does with about the same proficiency. Damn that was a lot of initials. 
• Greg Toler- this guy looked good. It might be nice to have a defensive player that can get us some interceptions. 
• Bad Andy- the passing game looked awesome. If Luck's gonna be out there dangling like that every game, I'll go ahead and say 13-3. 

Negatives:

• The run D was... well the typical run D. Granted, the D only gave up 95 yards on the ground so it wasn't like we were getting split wide open, but there were a few big runs early and lots of big holes. This doesn't bode well when we play Jax or Tennessee. If this were any other team, I probably wouldn't even mention this, but run defense has been a problem in Indy for the last 20 years and it doesn't look like it's going to change this year. 
• Coby Fleener- I loved the Coby Fleener pick last year and I'll give him a break last year because he battled injuries all season, but the guy is looking rough so far. After seeing a few mental mistakes in the first game, he follows it up by dropping two balls last night. He's no Dallas Clark... not yet at least. 
• Erik Walden- This may be totally unfounded but I'm pretty sure I'm going to hate him in a Colts uniform. I didn't like the fact that they gave him a Clay Matthews (pre-suspension) sized contract. It looked like he's 3 seconds behind the play on a couple of occasions. I hope I'm wrong, but I just have the feeling that the Colts will regret the signing at year's end. 

Oh, and I can't get enough of Chandler Harnish nailing Pam Oliver in the face: 

Keep doing that kind of shit Chandler and you could be the next Jim Sorgi. 

Obligatory Gen-Con Post

So Gen Con was in town over the weekend. If anyone knew me, they'd probably think this is the point where I make fun of the Gen Con folk. Point out all the weird shit they do and such. Nope, not gonna do it. Personally, I think if these guys want to get hopped up and play Magic The Gathering (I'm guessing that's the game), I think that's awesome. Plus, I'm just enough of a nerd to think some of the costumes are cool (Busty Princess Leia, I see you). Look, it's easy to dismiss these guys as nerds or dorks. All I see is that these guys are getting dressed up as Zeek the Elf and having the time of their lives. Do I understand it? Not in a million years. Do I respect their hustle? Yup.

Top Costumes:

Wide, child-bearing hips, and titties... Ooh Yeah!

This got replayed A LOT in the minds of people that night.

Future serial killer. Look at those cold eyes.

Odds this got sexual: 40%

Loved Power Rangers as a kid.

Oh and this guy:

100% has some stories that will immediately make you want to get the hell out of there.

Oprah coming in Hot!

So yesterday I was in the grocery store checkout line looking at the magazines while I waited for the lady in front of me and I see this. Look at Oprah. So regal, so vibrant. If America had royalty... Ok what the fuck? Oprah, that hair is absurd. I get that the magazine's issue is all about hair styles, but cmon. How about you endorse a normal hairstyle that people can actually wear.

But the real point of this blog is that Oprah's kinda sexy right? She's slimmed down again and she looks busty as fuck. No shame in saying, yes Oprah, I would.

So I just read she's 59... oops. Well maybe, if I get all that money.

If you have this on your car, I fucking HATE you

God, I hate these people. Like what do you think I think when I see this dumb ass cling? Oh man, I should definitely be more careful, this guy's got a family. No way bro. First off, I don't give a fuck about your family. There hasn't been a single second during my commute that I've wondered if the guy in front of me has a family. I'm just trying to get to Taco Bell, get my burritos, and get back home. And if I see you, I'm even more likely to drive erratically so that somehow you might flip your car and meet a sweet, quick death.

And how about this fucking guy I saw today? What's going on with the two separate families? Did he abandon his first family, but he kinda feels bad about it so he honors them with a window cling on his Chevy Tracker? And I wanna meet the new wife. Is she like,  "Yeah, Bob's a good guy and we're really happy, except for that whole other family somewhere."

All you Breaking Bad Hipsters should shut the fuck up

Listen, I understand that Breaking Bad is awesome and I've tried to keep up, but I've fallen a bit behind. I like the show, but everyone telling me how it's the greatest show in TV history can kiss my dick. I get it, it's good and I watch it, but don't tell me that I'm an asshole because I don't know Heisenberg's inner thought process. All I know is that I like bad Walt and I hate Walt Jr. more than all the other very hateable characters.

And Breaking Bad fans are slightly hipsterish too. Every time you talk to someone about Breaking Bad, which is always if there is a fan around, they always turn it into a "I started watching first" contest. Cool bro, I couldn't give a fuck when you started watching. I didn't come into the show late, because when the show premiered, I was probably vomiting from Sunday funday drinking in a bathroom somewhere in the dorms.

Colts Preseason Game #2

Sorry bout the facemask homie.

Things I'm watching for:

• Full Disclosure: I'll probably only watch 2-3 quarters, until Newsroom comes on or I get bored and start playing Xbox. Preseason football blows. It's like beating off to the point of cumming then stopping. Sure it's fun, but without an ending that gets you somewhere, it's pointless.
• Andrew Luck's progress: Everyone on ESPN and the media are saying Bad Andy will regress this year. I just don't agree. Bad Andy is a dork, he's not going out partying like Gronk, he's in the film room, drinking root beers, and concentrating on his neck beard. 
• Robert Mathis as the main pass-rusher. Not saying he can't do it, just saying he's got a lot more burden now.
• The lack of cancer effect. Coach Chuck's cancer was responsible for at least 3 wins last year. Not saying the players didn't deserve it or that it wasn't great Coach P recovered, just that that cancer was great for the W/L column.
• Which rookies are going to make an impact? No fucking clue. Last year's rookies were great though. 

About this site: 

Ok, so launching this blog for the Indianapolis sports and pop culture scene from the point of view of the average guy. The type of guy that doesn't take life too seriously, finds humor in everything, and loves sports. I'll be covering the Indianapolis pro teams and maybe the Indians as well as mixing in tv, movie, and celeb talk. Basically, I'm mimicking* Barstool Sports (if you haven't read it, do so) from an Indianapolis locale.

*Hardest word in the world to spell.